Business Plan...

So I worked hard all weekend...which is to say I was asleep by four or five and woke at noon each day.  I'll admit that thinking about leaving this life behind for my ministry business scares me.  I was thinking about all this when I ran across this article on someone who started a similar enterprise in California.

It's different from what I'm hoping to do with my ministry program.  I want to be able to marry people and offer solid advice based on a lifetime of experience with the darker underbelly of human nature.  In other words, I've seen some of the bad people are capable of and I can at least help people be good, can't I?  Do I have to have Jesus to do this?

I've been participating in some discussions with other people who got ordained through the Universal Life Church like I did and it's a mixed bag of opinions.  There are a lot of Christians over there and they are trying to educate me about Jesus and his purpose.  But, I'm still not sure if I get it, or if I will.  I guess, I'm not going to worry about it too much right now because it doesn't change the fact that I'm an ordained minister and that I'm sincere in wanting to marry people, baptise folks and all that.

As I've mentioned, i live among rednecks here in Panama City, Florida.  and one thing they hate are the gays around here.  So I'm wondering if I should start advertising my stripper ministry services within the gay community first.  Like would someone pay me to travel to states where it's legal so I could marry them?  that would be cool.

I'm not doing this for the money though.  trust me.  Stripping pays more than most will ever make.  But let's be honest, I won't have these looks for life....

Here's an excerpt from that article....sounds like I should get in touch with these ladies to see what challenges I'm gonna face doing this whole thing...

THERESA BROWN HAS SEEN the American experience from both sides. Growing up in Clairemont, the brunette with dark brown eyes was attractive and alert. She had two older sisters, a kid brother, and she did well in school. In many ways, she was the prototypical California girl.
But behind the cheery veneer lay a childhood scarred by her parents’ broken marriage, alcohol abuse and codependency. The future became less a dream and more a plan for escape. And then, when she was 21, an unexpected pregnancy.
“It wasn’t planned,” Brown says with a smile. “But then, you never regret the kids you have.” Her son is now 9 and one of the foundational elements in her life——along with God and her work at the stripper ministry.
At its etymological level, “ministry” is derived from “minister”——to give aid or service. Brown defines the stripper ministry as an organized group of people with a common goal. It comprises more than 150 women who reach out to other women in the adult-entertainment industry. The target group is strippers and dancers, but outreach is widening to those in the escort and soft-porn industries——populations that have intimate ties to stripping, Brown says.
The 30-year-old launched the San Diego chapter of JC’s Girls (JC is for Jesus Christ) through the Rock Church last year. She was drawn into the underbelly of America’s thriving adult-entertainment industry 11 years ago through what appeared to be a benign introduction to striptease dancing. It’s almost impossible, however, to stay in the industry without being drawn into an associated profligate lifestyle, Brown says.

What would Jesus tip?

Last night, I had to work some private parties. This happens a lot and it's good because it means more money. But some of these private parties are downright weird, as I'm sure y'all can imagine. Sometimes, I work these shindigs with my girlfriend Penni Pandora and tonight it looked like it was going to be the both of us. We got ready at my place and Jimmy picked us up at nine. The party was at a house way out in the burbs.

When we got there, I was able to immediately tell what kind of dudes we were dealing with...white rednecks. There were big trucks parked in the driveway and down the street. When we got in there, I could see the guys were all in their twenties. Which I don't like because I'm thinking in terms of tips. Black guys will tip, white rednecks in their twenties don't.

Anyway, the dancing was fine. It was a bachelor party, so Jimmy got the money up front. There was a lot of beer, some which got spilled on us. And we were there for all of two hours and I went home with $150. Not bad. Not great. Like I said, better tips would have been nice.

Here's the thing, these boys were Christians. Or at least there were bibles in the house and a large cross in the living room with a rebel flag to boot. Do you think they really go to church or practice at being good Christians? No. They do practice at being good 'ole boys though. What Jesus do? Would he hire strippers? See this is why I have a hard time with the whole belief system. So much hypocrisy. And I'm betting, if my tip jar (what they stuff into my g-string) was any indication, they don't put much into the collection plate on Sundays either.

**** Jimmy (he helps me write this stuff) says if you are interested in hiring me and Penni for private parties, you should drop us an email.